Welcome...
to the crazy planet of my mind
Lately I have been thinking about the purpose of my life and what meaning I hold in the world. How I feel like a second class citizen in his life. This game we are playing feels a bit dangerous. What people don’t understand about me and why I may seem guarded is that once I let you in, my heart is completely open to you.
Love eludes me and I often feel like I will never have what others have. This is pure truth. I’ll never have a family in the traditional sense. My brothers and sisters never made the transition into true flesh and bone. The deep connections I have made seem to be lost in time. It’s grey and damp as it was the day before. I want to feel his arms wrapped around me in the most precious way. I want his eyes to speak truth of compassion and lust. I want the dream to birth. Real flesh and bone
0 Comments
Complicated thoughts are part of being human but as an only child, I feel at times this is magnified.
It is hard to tell when or if I am wanted. I get that people are tied-up in their own thoughts and emotions and maybe they are not communicating what is in their hearts for fear of something. When it’s hard for me to read what others are thinking insecurity seeps in. Lifelong friends vanish in thin air and lovers drift away… Part of me assume they want nothing to do with me so I give up communicating. The hardest part of being a “party of one” is knowing that no one person truly ever has your back. On the drive in the thought seemed clear but as I express this there is a disconnect. It’s the time of year where emotions run high. I chose to be removed from those closest to me, not because I wanted to be but because I wanted to experience a new life. I thought the bonds were solid, strong even but those deep connections seem to be fading…. |
AuthorThe Only Child Archives
April 2024
Categories |